I’ve been inspired by Sufjan’s good Christmas music to hold a contest to find out what the worst Christmas songs are. 
So Ali, Jeth and I are now accepting nominations–this is your opportunity to not only nominate the hokiest, cheesiest, most suffocatingly annoying Christmas songs (the Chipmunks come immediately to mind), but also to let out all the rage that’s been percolating inside you as you try to escape from the pervasive creep of awful Christmas carols. They are everywhere you go (the radio, department stores, cell phone rings, the doctor’s office, when you call the dentist and are put on hold, etc.).
Leave your nomination in the comments section. Please include the name of the song AND the artist. Also feel free to describe WHY it is so bad, as that will influence which songs get into the final voting. Only one nomination per person. A week or two before Christmas, I will create an online poll with the top five nominations. Voting will then begin and last through Christmas Eve. The person who’s nomination gets the most votes will win a $10 Starbucks card. Winner to be announced on Christmas day!
Let the nominating begin!
Yippie! Yay!
By: wardali on November 25, 2007
at 7:50 pm
i saw mommy kissing santa klaus
…runner up, santa baby sung by madonna
By: will on November 25, 2007
at 10:14 pm
This contest is a holiday buzz-kill. I enjoy each and every Christmas jingle. So, I say NO to your attempt to rank terrible carols and only leave you with this thought: Have a holly, jolly Christmas, it’s the best time of the year
By: missebaby on November 26, 2007
at 12:18 am
this question is like the question, “How much money does it take to raise a kid?”… the answer of course is, “all of it.”
ALL OF THEM. (this includes Sufjan’s mediocre Christmas)
By: kerrin on November 26, 2007
at 12:52 am
missy – bah humbug
kerrin – grow a heart
By: jonwardeleven on November 26, 2007
at 12:59 am
definitely a tie between “Santa baby” by Madonna and “I saw Mommy kissing Santa claus”
Only need to listen once to understand why they are such bad Christmas songs…
anyway, cheers
By: Melanie on November 26, 2007
at 1:26 am
melanie you get “santa baby” by madonna, since will put “mommy kissing santa claus” first
By: jonwardeleven on November 26, 2007
at 1:39 am
thanks jon, i donated *it* to science… i found little use for *it*.
By: kerrin on November 26, 2007
at 2:32 am
On behalf of my grinchish husband, Josh, we offer the following nominations. His first thought was Fum, Fum, Fum. But since most of us don’t know that one, he decided to nominate “We Wish you a Merry Christmas” mainly because the demand for figgie pudding is ridiculous and rude. Who eats figgie pudding anyway?
By: Kim on November 26, 2007
at 3:42 am
I agree with will in that “I saw mommy kissing santa claus.” I don’t know the artist and I don’t care. Also, I think Kerrin wrote them all.
By: mom ward on November 26, 2007
at 12:12 pm
Oh wait. I’m changing my nomination. It is “Christmas in D.C.” I’ll have to hear it to get the artist and I will. But my guess is that it was Ted Kennedy.
By: mom ward on November 26, 2007
at 12:16 pm
I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas Lyrics
By: Terra on November 26, 2007
at 6:03 pm
The worst Christmas song ever is “The Christmas Shoes” by NewSong. Not only does this song glorify sappiness it also led to the eventual Lifetime Original t.v. movie starring the king of cheese Rob Lowe, need I say more.
By: Chris Mutimer on November 26, 2007
at 6:37 pm
Oh yes, Christmas Shoes! That song is the worst because the subject isn’t particularily trite (death is hardly cliche). BUT the idea that they just want to evoke emotion by telling you some poor kid bought shoes for his dying mom is a little ridiculous. It’s like they just thought of everything that tugs on people’s heart strings (Jesus, heaven, love, death, children, and poverty) and just threw it all into one song. But you feel guilty hating the song. How could you hate a kid trying to buy his dying mom shoes? You want to hate him but you can’t. Not to mention I have some strong theological objections to the song Matthew 6:19-20
By: Christina on November 26, 2007
at 10:35 pm
I like Madonna and shoe shopping at Christmas.
By: missebaby on November 27, 2007
at 4:29 am
“all i want for christmas is my 2 front teeth” that song is downright annoying and whiney…and has nothing to do with christmas
By: erin on November 27, 2007
at 4:46 pm
oh yeah AND….”grandma got run over by a reindeer” morbid and hickish…it cannot get much worse
By: erin on November 27, 2007
at 4:48 pm
I can’t believe I’m gonna be the one to nominate the obvious winner “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire” that song makes me want to eat a shotgun shell….
By: Ryan on November 29, 2007
at 1:20 am
Two terrible Christmas songs:
“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.” I lived in Miami for a few years, and Christmas did not look a lot different from the rest of the year, except there many sightings of those cheesy lawn reindeer, you know the ones that graze and then lift their heads to look at you.
But the worst of all is “Little St. Nick” by the Beach Boys. That’s the one with the Hook “Christmas comes this time each year.” How profound.
By: Mark on November 29, 2007
at 1:37 am
Dude, I think this contest is ruining Christmas Carols for me. I am listening to a bunch on the radio, and pretty much all of them stink. I think a rule should be that if you were a cool pop star in the 70s or 80s, you shouldn’t sing Christmas songs. I am ready to jump off a bridge after hearing Hall and Oates sing “Jingle Bell Rock”? Just terrible.
By: Mark on November 29, 2007
at 1:51 am
I like ‘chestnuts roasting on an open fi…’ and i also like the beach boys ‘little saint ni…’ but i’m probably all alone on that one.
By: wardali on November 29, 2007
at 2:05 am
“Christmas Eve in Washington”. the end. That one will make you want to put a gun barrel in your mouth.
And I happen to love “Little St. Nick.”
By: Kelley Murphy (Josh's wife) on November 29, 2007
at 2:49 am
oh and “Feliz Navidad.” and Josh would like to add, “anything by Barbra Streisand.”
By: Kelley Murphy (Josh's wife) on November 29, 2007
at 2:51 am
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at 2:51 am
A couple book-keeping notes, for the record. If a song has already been nominated, then that song cannot be nominated a second time. And, there is only one nomination allowed per person.
So for example, Mark nominated “Little St. Nick,” and mentioned “Jingle Bell Rock,” by Hall and Oates. But the second song is still up for grabs to anyone who has not nominated yet. In the same way, Erin nominated “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth,” and also mentioned “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer,” so the grandma song is also still available.
One caveat is that you can change your nomination if your new pick has not already been chosen by someone else.
So Travis picked “Christmas Eve in Washington,” and then Kelley did as well. Because Travis was first, Kelley will get Josh’s pick of “Feliz Navidad.”
The only problem with Travis’ pick is that my own Mom meant, I think, to pick that song, but she didn’t get the title right. Can I get some opinions on who should get that song (based on reading what my Mom wrote above)?
By: jonwardeleven on November 29, 2007
at 3:09 am
“SILVER BELLS” is the worst!!! It’s sappy and senseless, and it gets stuck in your head for days.
Actually, “Christmas Eve in Washington” is really the worst–already taken, so I’ll go with my second choice.
Amy
By: Mark on November 29, 2007
at 3:41 am
by the way, the Christmas Eve in Washington was the song I nominated, I didn’t know the official name. I said it first.
By: mom ward on November 29, 2007
at 1:15 pm
Diane gets the nod for christmas eve in washington…I can verify that she mentioned that to me immediately and that is the song she intended. For myself i almost went with Santa Baby by the Marilyn Monroe wanna-be but I nominate “Santa Clause is Coming To Town” by the Jackson Five. It is absolutely grating…like listening to fingernails on a chalkboard!
By: chip ward on November 29, 2007
at 3:07 pm
great choice Dad! i agree – that one’s pretty awful
By: jonwardeleven on November 29, 2007
at 3:37 pm
your mom should get the christmas eve in washington song…i knew what she was talking about when i read her comment. : )
By: erin on November 29, 2007
at 3:37 pm
Mrs. Ward gets “Christmas Eve in Washington”.
What we should really talk about is “that song makes me want to eat a shotgun shell…”, “make you want to put a gun barrel in your mouth”, and “I am ready to jump off a bridge”. Perhaps not the best way of conveying dislike for a Christmas Carol. Go see a shrink.
Ali, you are not alone…”Chestnuts” and “Little Saint Nick” are classics. And, “Silver Bells?” really?
By: missebaby on November 29, 2007
at 7:38 pm
I vote for the Christmas Shoes song… not to make light of death but lets just focus in on the chorus:
….
“Daddy says there’s not much time
You see she’s been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful
If Mama meets Jesus tonight”
eek.
By: Kiara on November 30, 2007
at 5:02 am
kiara that’s already been nominated. voting will begin later
By: jonwardeleven on November 30, 2007
at 7:21 pm
eek
By: ali on December 1, 2007
at 3:10 pm
I like ‘chestnuts roasting on an open fire’ very much. I sing it to myself often
aol just reminded me of a terrible band aid song from the 80s: ‘do they know its christmas’ with lyrics like: “Tonight thank God it’s them, instead of you”
pretty bad…so does aol get the nomination or is it up for grabs? If so, evie nominates it.
By: will on December 10, 2007
at 4:31 am
Well now that there is nothing left to nominate I guess I can’t win. Hippopatamus (sp?) is absolutely horrible, but I think Erin got it. I’m already tired of Christmas carols, I started listening to them before Thanksgiving so I’m all caroled out!
By: Catherine on December 11, 2007
at 3:15 pm
well cat, we (and when i say we i mean jon) start listening to christmas carols in august, so imagine how we (and when i say we i mean i) must feel!
ok so to be fair, it’s usually a sufjan song and it usually just comes on when the ipod is on random….but we do love christmas carols in this family! especially ones by WHAM!!!!
By: wardali on December 12, 2007
at 5:31 pm
I’m sorry, but if I hear Band Aid one more time, chunks will be hurled. Yes, I know it was a great cause, but…seriously, “There won’t be snow in Africa this Christmas???”
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at 4:06 pm
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at 2:56 am